I have a healthy relationship with my phone. What does healthy look like? I use my phone intentionally, have boundaries with it, and it has little to no control over my mood or presence in the moment. It took a while, and some “phone rehab”, to confidently make this declaration, but the grass truly is greener in the minimized tech-land I now reside in. Before the rehab, I was addicted to my phone, and I look back on that relationship with feelings of sadness and regret. If you’re feeling these emotions about your own relationship with your phone, or if you’re in an in-between phase, you may feel a pull to spend less time with the little time-sucker. I still want less time with my phone; I believe, unless you’re medieval, it’s an ongoing process for everyone. This post shares some of my strategies that work for me and could also help you.

The kicker about rehab is that no one can force you to do it. I learned this from The Office when Michael literally dragged Meredith to an alcohol addiction rehab center, and they didn’t make it past the reception desk because the facility wouldn’t admit her against her will. Self-motivation is the most powerful element of rehab, no matter which addiction you’re healing from. You’re here because you recognize you have a problem, and you want to grow past it, and I think that’s awesome. Disclaimer: I am by no means claiming to be an expert or fully free from the grips of my smartphone. I’m a neurodivergent 23-year-old, and this is my candid advice. You’re here on your own terms. What’s a phone-shaped hole? We’ll get into that too. Enough talk – let’s get those tech-free dreams in motion.

5 Tips to Fill Your Phone-Shaped Hole

1. Get an Alarm Clock
2. Leave Your Phone Behind
3. Delete Harmful Apps
4. Meet: The Phone-Shaped Hole
5. Bring Your Book

1. Get an Alarm Clock

And put your phone out of reach and sight from where you sleep. If you’re in the habit of reaching for your phone as soon as you wake up, this will feel difficult at first, but you will eventually build a new habit. 

To deepen the understanding you have about the importance of delaying contact with your phone in the morning, here’s a sneaky, neuroscience-backed key to our day: the source of your first dopamine hit in the morning is what your brain will crave for the rest of the day. 

So, if you wake up and surrender to cheap dopamine from technology, you’re screwing yourself. Dismissing the urge is building both your long-term muscle of resistance and your short-term productivity throughout your day. Conversely, if you wake up and complete a task—like making your bed, stretching, or drinking water—you receive earned dopamine. You’re the one here on your own free will, so ditch your phone as an alarm clock, put it in a drawer or another room, and give yourself some tech-free time in the morning to let your brain and body wake up.

2. Leave Your Phone Behind

Ways to spend less time on your phone? Leave it out of the picture. This one is tricky if you’re leaving the house alone, especially as a woman, because a phone is crucial in an emergency. So when leaving the house, this may look like using “Do Not Disturb” and discipline. On my walks, bike rides, and some car commutes, I don’t listen to anything and let my thoughts unravel as I go. 

If you’re staying in your house, office, or any indoor space, leave your phone in another room. If your job doesn’t legitimately require you to be on call 24/7, there’s no reason to act as if you are, especially on the weekends and days off. Step into your power and take your time more seriously. Your coworkers and whoever will follow suit and treat your time with the same respect. 

Put your phone out of reach when you’re focusing on work or hobbies, and allow yourself to come back to your phone to respond to messages at a designated time. To reach expert no-phone mode, participate in activities that naturally separate you from your phone, like surfing, swimming, gardening, hiking off the grid (with a satellite phone perhaps), or doing cartwheels. 

3. Delete Harmful Apps

Similar to designating time for messages, designate time for social media. If you absorb social media passively, you risk serious repercussions to your mental health, mood, self-perception, and drive. A good strategy to avoid the harm social media casually dumps on us is to download the apps you like at a designated time—whether it’s daily, weekly, or even monthly—consume the content, and then delete them afterward. 

If you are immediately dismissing the idea of app removal, it might be time for some honest self-reflection about whether you’re truly ready for phone and social media rehab. Daily consumption of social media, at the global-exposure apps can now deliver, can trap you in a paradox of choice concerning your entire existence. We were not built to be this existential. Chiming in with my two cents from “greener grass land,” life is so much lighter over here. Less exposure to this harm will nudge you back on the path that matters most: yours. For more of a nudge: Instagram Gives Me the Ick.

4. Meet: The Phone-Shaped Hole

Huzzah! Thanks to these new habits, you now have more time in your day. You’ve earned back the hours that were previously lost to the time-sucking pit of your square of screen. What now? You’re going to notice the phone-shaped hole in the amount of time you have in your day; and you’re going to fill a strong pull to fill that phone-shaped hole with… your phone. We’ve got to find something to fill it. 

It might be a long time since you have had a true 24 hours to your day; a day filled with screentime is, unfortunately, much shorter than a day without. This time that was once lost to the void is now yours again. With all of this empty-feeling time, it’s understandable to feel a mix of emotions. This is your brain detoxing from the addiction. Though it may feel very negative at first, you’re doing a tremendous job by making it to this point and are so close to feeling the benefits. 

So you’re here, you value your time more than you may have at the height of your addiction, and you now have more of it. This is awesome. 

How should you spend the time your day has been reunited with? Well, that is entirely up to you. What do you value? What feels like it’s missing from your life? When was the last time you carved out time for the things that bring your inner child joy? If you can’t answer these questions, I suggest adding “self-reflection” to the top of this fill-the-void list. Self-reflection is unique to the person and can look like many things. Try picking up a journal where you used to pick up your phone to scroll, or better yet, give your brain space to breathe by sitting in the moment and staring into space. 

If you need a few sparks to get your fire of a list going, here are some things that I like to fill my days with (after most of my mandatory tasks have been completed):

1. Journal
2. Learn a language on Duolingo
3. Surf or swim in the ocean
4. Call a loved one
5. Read my book
6. Exercise 
7. Go for short walks 
8. Lie in the grass or sand
9. Water my plants
10. Stretch
11. Bake or make a sweet treat 
12. Soak up the sun

There are no bounds to the things that can bring you joy in this life. What are you most looking forward to filling your day with?

Once you have a list of things that fill up your cup, write them in the notes app in your phone, so it’s always with you, and title it “Free Time Activities” or something fun. Or, go a step further and write them down all pretty and fun on a piece of paper, with room to add more, and hang it up in your home. When you find yourself with a free time, visit your list, pick one, and voila! Happy days await.

5. Bring Your Book

One of my favorite ways to fill my phone-shaped hole on the go, especially for those smaller empty periods, is by reading. When I arrive somewhere early, have to wait in line, or just want to relax while being entertained, I reach for my book. I’ve come so far in my phone-less journey that I don’t feel the same yearning for my phone as I do for my book. I’d honestly rather stare into space than scroll while I’m waiting.

I’d rather be left with my book than my phone, whether for five minutes or an hour. To make sure I have my book with me, it’s become part of my leaving the house checklist: Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Phone? Check. Book? Check. Shoes? Check. Ok, let’s go! If you want to feel this same type of way about your book, check out: How to Get (Back) Into Reading.

That’s all I have for now. I truly hope you find these tips helpful. 

Worried they won’t stick? Come back to them until they do. Copy the link to this post, go to your calendar, and create a repeating all-day event for every Sunday. Title it “My Phone-Free Journey” (or something more fun) and add this link to the description. This way, you’ll revisit these tips, remember the motivation you first felt, and find fresh inspiration to start your week. 

The most effective way to make your journey stick? Find an accountability buddy. Whether they’re joining you or are just there for support, having someone by your side during the difficult parts of this process will help you see it through and cross over to those greener pastures. Share this post with someone you want to buddy up with, someone you can collaborate with on ideas, or anyone you think could benefit from considering phone rehab.

Good luck! Let me know how your journey is going over on Instagram. If you have an awesome tip for filling the void, drop it in the comments for the community!

Peace and Blessings,

Emma