If you’re about to take off on an adventure, prepare to meet a lot of new people. This solo travel tip is a guide on talking to strangers, how to do it safely, and how it can be transformative.
Solo travel is a gift that can lead to some of the deepest discoveries and memories a person has in their life. With great reward, there is sometimes great risk. There can also be a lot of fears associated with the risk of traveling solo. Less are the fears about your safety capabilities as an individual, and more so are they about the potential dangers our world can pose. Other people, particularly strangers, can fall high on this list of fear prospects.
How to Talk to Strangers
Practically everyone you see when traveling will be someone you haven’t met before, and how crazy cool is that! Strangers can become friends, foes, and everything in between. Choosing to leave the world of strangers untapped, however, closes the reciprocal world of possibility with it.
Being afraid of the unknown is a case that definitely holds water, but fear shouldn’t stop you from doing the things you want to do. If you’re used to spiraling down a rabbit hole of worry, in this case about strangers, preparing yourself to talk to people acts like shoveling dirt over the hole. Furthermore, safely conversing with strangers out in the world is like walking over that filled-in used-to-be hole without a second thought.
The Two Groups of Strangers
There are two general groups of people you’ll converse with when solo traveling: fellow travelers and locals. The big difference between these two groups is that everything is brand new to one group while everything is familiar to the other.
Talking to Fellow Travelers
Fellow travelers are the group you may be spending the most time with in hostels, activities, bars, etc., and they have a pretty predictable conversation script. You’ll notice that the same types of questions will repeatedly come up with different people and in different places. For example, “Where are you from,” “Where else have you been,” “What do you do for work,” and “How long have you been traveling.” You can trust your gut and use your judgment on how much of your life you want to share with other travelers. If you end up sharing your social media (which I touch on more in part 2), then consider mostly telling the truth. Just because someone is staying at the same hostel as you doesn’t mean you’re meant to get on, so don’t feel pressured to force a conversation or friendship that isn’t there.
People can come and go from accommodation fast enough to give you whiplash. If it’s not you leaving, it’s new people coming into your hostel or town. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to meet new people, whether you’re traveling to a bunch of places or staying in one. My advice is always to introduce yourself if given the opportunity but only continue to get to know someone if the vibe is right. It’s also completely cool to stay in your own lane, even if others seem to be getting on.
Don’t let nerves mask themselves as warning signals from your gut as an excuse to keep to yourself. It’s totally normal to be nervous about talking to other travelers if you’re on your own. Also know that most travelers themselves are flying solo. If you get to a new hostel and people are talking and getting on, it’s highly likely that most of them recently met, maybe even that day. What you’re witnessing at first glance likely started with one person putting themselves out there. Try being the one to take that risk!
Talking to Locals
Locals are the group that pretty much automatically deserves your respect and grace when you are traveling. Before arriving in a new place, travelers should always educate themselves on local cultures, customs, and norms. No matter where you are traveling to, locals are humans. Humans come in good and bad form, though I like to think that most of us are good. If you don’t speak the language of the place you’re visiting and you want to have a conversation or ask a question, do your best to introduce yourself and ask if they speak English. You should always learn basic conversation words for the place you are traveling to out of respect and for safety. Duolingo is my favorite quick and fun language learning tool.
Conversations with some locals can be circumstantially tricky. This is especially true in touristy places where they see travelers come in and out practically on rotation. If you aren’t aware of or prepared for certain situations, you could potentially become a target for crime. Only a very small percentage of people see tourists as targets for deception. As long as you know how to extinguish yourself as a mark, you don’t need to harbor fear. Because I prepare ahead of travel, I adventure worry-free until my gut tells me there’s something to worry about. Dressing to blend in and acting confidently in your surroundings are two effective ways to be left alone. Whether you’re aware of it or not, this also applies to you where you live. You may just be used to the safety byproduct of looking the part. Fake it til you make it!
Overall, unless someone is catcalling you or noticeably trying to scam you, locals deserve respect. After all, you are a visitor in their home. Most people are amazing, and sharing stories with humans from all corners of the world is so special. Don’t let the fear of meeting one bad egg hold you back from those connections. Just learn how to boil an egg before it’s time to eat.
Wrap on Part 1…
Conversing is a life skill among the many that you gain from traveling. Like most things, experience will help you get comfortable with talking to strangers. Use common sense, trust your gut, and don’t tell the dude selling fruit on the street where you’re staying for the week. Tune in for the upcoming part 2 “How to Lie to Strangers” for the lies I tell when I solo travel to stay safe, and how and when to use them.
Share a memorable conversation you had when traveling to a new place in the comments!
